Feb 8 2006Nativity Gets a Director
Since the Bible proved itself a bit of a "cash cow" with The Passion of the Christ, New Line quickly bought the rights to Mike Rich's script, Nativity, which focuses on the B.C. life of the Virgin Mary:
Rich's script covers the two-year period in Mary and Joseph's life culminating in their departure from Nazareth and 100-mile journey to Bethlehem for the birth of Jesus.
Now, in a recent development, Catherine Hardwicke, director of Lords of Dogtown and Thirteen has been picked to helm the project. I don't think I'm alone when I say she needs to take this in a completely different direction than The Passion of the Christ. Gibson wanted everything so authentic-- it's boring. I think the language thing alone scared off a lot of people. I'm not saying change the story, just add some dinosaurs. Not as main characters or anything, just kind of wandering around so you can say, "Hey, is that a dinosaur back there? I think that's a T-Rex behind the Blessed Virgin." Maybe have a few get their jaws torn open, like in King Kong. And at the end, when she gives birth, maybe Jesus comes out smoking a cigar.
Reader Comments
1. ladyaliasbns - February 8, 2006 6:17 PM
Yikes I am not quite sure that such blatant disrespect to any other religion would be tolerated. Your website is generally funny but maybe you might have a little respect. Just a little. I am Catholic and I think that the events of the Gospel being related with historical accuracy is anything but boring, but I suppose that when everyone has imaginations flooded continuously with images that excite our more "superficial" (this might be a hit on the other website) emotions, there is perhaps not a taste for anything that strikes deeper. Just as a sidenote, I liked King Kong quite a bit but I wouldn't expect some intervention of the Blessed Virgin or any of the Saints in the story line... it just wouldn't be a fit.
2. heatherrose - February 8, 2006 6:27 PM
I completely agree with comment #1. Why is it always ok to mock Catholicism but never acceptable to mock the Jews or the Muslims or basically anyone outside Christianity? I find it these comments offensive and so would the majority of America. Maybe those that don't agree will one day have their sacred beliefs mocked and they can understand why Catholics and Christians protest these insults.
3. SMS - February 8, 2006 6:30 PM
This site can be funny but this doesn't really seem as much funny as just offensive. And you can't really say "oh I do it to all religions" since I haven't seen anything else on this website blatantly mocking a pivotal point of someone else's beliefs. Considering the fact that 80% of Americans believe in the birth of Jesus, I don't think many people are going to find this particular post funny. Sorry.
4. Hannah - February 8, 2006 8:18 PM
I think that you guys are overreacting too much. First 80% of Americans do not believe in Jesus. Second how many religious/non christian movies do you see being made? None that I can think of therefore its not a targeted Christianity thing.
This is no more disresepectful than a lot of things said about other things here, this one just struck home a bit more. You think Christians/Catholics get more insults than anyone else? You got to be joking and taking it too personally. What was written is simple fun making fun of nothing (never was it said the stories ar false/stupid) just that the Passion of the Christ was boring (which is was for some people) so tongue and cheek ideas were suggested.
5. Oldboy - February 8, 2006 8:39 PM
Cry a river, god jokes are the best! And that joke was hilarious. All we need now is Jesus riding a velociraptor with a laser mounted on its head massacring jews. Everyone knows the bible was made up for entertainment. Either that or making sand angels.
P.S. Have you been watching the news? See what happens when you make fun of the Allah.
6. hafaball - February 8, 2006 11:39 PM
Actually more people believe in Jesus in America then anything...and in fact, a bunch of people think he;s gonna have his Second Coming any day now....which is very scary.
But yeah, I don;t usually think this site is so funny, but these were actually really funny! I'm sure the actual stories were pretty boring, which is why the writers of the bible spiced them up with Magic and floods and plagues and blah blah I mean killing the first born? How can you go wrong with that? :D
7. Gryffydd - February 9, 2006 1:50 AM
I think you guys are ALL missing the boat. I didn't see anywhere where he mocked our beliefs. He mocked the movie being made about them. There's a big difference there. The only thing that could be construed as mockery is the comment about him finding the authenticity being boring. At that, there is even mention of the foreign language lessening the appeal...again, nothing to do with the religion. Anyone is free to tell me they find anything boring without it offending me.
OK, enough of that. How about this point:
YOU'RE READING A WEBSITE CALLED I WATCH STUFF THAT FOCUSES ON HOLLYWOOD WTF DO YOU EXPECT? If you don't like what's here, go to www.bible.com and shut up.
8. Sebastian De La Ghetto - February 9, 2006 9:48 AM
What he said. That being said.
If i were watching a b.c. movie about the life of mary, and a t-rex ran by in the background chasing a caveman, i would pee in my pants so much, it would trickle down to all the rows and everyone would slip and fall, etc, etc.
9. PinkRose - February 9, 2006 12:39 PM
I'm a Christian and thought what was said was pretty funny. The thought of dinosaurs walking around, eating trees and other dinos while Jesus is being born is amusing to me.
I guess I'm an insensitive woman.
10. mari_mari - February 9, 2006 4:58 PM
I'm Catholic, I think this site is hilarious as was this post, and also, I think it's written by a woman. I'm just saying.
11. hafaball - February 10, 2006 12:58 AM
what are you saying? woman aren't funny? you sexist bastard
12. thenewjesus - February 10, 2006 2:21 PM
i think what needs to happen is someone needs to make a film where throughout Jesus' life he turns to his side and says, "Ziggy, why haven't I leaped yet? I have to get WHAT? FUCK!"