Feb 17 2006Green is the New Bond GIrl
It's official: Eva Green is the new Bond girl. The actress will play Vesper Lynd, co-starring with Daniel Craig and Mads Mikkelsen in the upcoming Casino Royale. Green, who had parts in The Dreamers and Kingdom of Heaven, beat out several other actresses for the role, none worth mentioning.
Maybe now Steve will stop saying my mom is the new Bond girl. Shutup, Steve. Your mom is the new Bond girl.
Feb 17 2006Captain America Writer Revealed
Earlier in the week, Avi Arad mentioned that a Captain America script was in production, but failed to say who the writer was. Now, a reliable informant has told IGN FilmForce who the screenwriter is: David Self.
Self has worked on two other Marvel projects, The Sub-Mariner (a script that Arad has long raved about) and Deathlok. He also adapted the graphic novel Road to Perdition for the big screen, and wrote the Cuban Missile Crisis drama Thirteen Days.
I'm glad they're getting moving on this so that we can finally get a decent Captain America into theaters. Because the faster we do that, the faster other countries can begin attacking us for our national arrogance.
Feb 17 2006Clowes to Team with Gondry
In an interview on Suicide Girls, Michel Gondry revealed that his next project, an adaptation of Rudy Rucker's novel Master of Space and Time, will be written by comic book author Daniel Clowes, creator of Ghost World. Jack Black is already set to overact in the film.
I think this team-up promises to have some interesting results, since both have become sort of indie masters of their crafts. I was so excited by the news that I continued looking at the naked girls with tattoos and piercings, just as I was prior to hearing the news. Probably tomorrow, too.
Feb 17 2006No Sequels for Burton
Contrary to an earlier report from a dining Michael Keaton that a Beetlejuice sequel may be in the works, Tim Burton has now said in an interview that he doesn't have plans on creating any sequels to his works, and hopes to resist any urge to do so. I, for one, am grateful. In a way, it's like knocking over old ladies. You knock one over and it's great, I mean just absolutely unbelievable, so you think maybe you should also push her old friend over. Then you realize that trying to recreate that magic never works, and it would only cheapen how fantastic the first was. But usually by that point you've already knocked her over, too.
Feb 17 2006The Woods Trailer
The trailer for Lucky McKee's The Woods has actually been out for a while, but has now finally been hosted online, though still not in an official capacity. The plot follows a girl's move to an all-female private school where supernatural events have gone on in the surrounding woods. Admirably, the trailer resists hinting at lesbian sexual undertones in the all-girl school, but that doesn't stop you from drawing them in a notebook.
Feb 16 2006Bond Villain Cast
The long struggle to cast the upcoming Bond film, Casino Royale, has nearly ended, with the role of the nemesis Le Chiffre filled by Danish actor Mads Mikkelsen. From the pictures I've seen of him, he looks a bit pretty-boy to be a villain. I don't have any names in mind, but I'd prefer if they cast someone with a Fu Manchu mustache, or their brain in a glass dome. I only understand exaggerated caricatures of villainy.
Feb 16 2006Last Stand is Last X-Men?
Fans hoping for another X-Men movie to follow Brett Ratner's The Last Stand will be disappointed by the director's words in a recent interview, where he claims the series has become a trilogy:
Well, it seems to be the last of the series. We wanted to make sure the audiences knew that this was a trilogy. Even though they weren't made together like 'Lord of the Rings,' this is really closure for the X-Men series. ... This is the last stand for sure.
It sounds to me like Ratner's just being cocky. He doesn't really know it will be the last, he just thinks it should be since he feels he finished it off so well. I always think the same thing when I've "finished" with a girl, but that's never the case. She'll invariably tell me, "Finished what? We didn't have sex," and I'll smile back, hoping she'll at least describe what it's like.
I think the article also includes some new pictures in a slideshow, but who can tell anymore?
Feb 16 2006More Bourne Coming?
While preparations are being made for the third chapter of the Jason Bourne saga, The Bourne Ultimatum, producer Frank Marshall revealed that the series may continue even further:
"It's kinda up to Matt [Damon]," series producer Frank Marshall recently said of how far "Bourne" will go. "Maybe to five [films] ... At some point, he's gotta find out who he is."
Some good news for fans of the series. Let's just hope Bourne doesn't "find out who he is" the way I did: with a half-bottle of vodka, two issues of Hustler, a hand mirror, and a lot of crying.
Feb 16 2006First Image From Power of the Dark Crystal
The first image from Genndy Tartakovsky's Power of the Dark Crystal has made its way online, showing an elderly Kira from the original film. The sequel is set hundreds of years after the first film, showing that the Gelflings age at a different rate than us, and do not, in their age, insist on wearing stretch pants and sequined shirts, like my grandma has.
Feb 16 2006Giamatti Joins Tender Interface
Paul Giamatti and Clemence Poesy have signed on to star in Hungarian filmmaker Ildiko Enyedi's upcoming sci-fi movie, Tender Interface.
The English language sci-fi film, scheduled to shoot in the first half of the year, is about a young girl playing video games who gets dragged back in time to 1939 New York City where the H-bomb is being devised by Hungarian scientists.
Okay, let's pretend for a moment that time travel is somehow possible-- I'll give them that one. So we've got this girl in 1939 who's good at video games. How is she getting involved in the Manhattan Project? I assumed there were security clearances and scientific qualifications necessary to work on the H-bomb. Apparently, being a 10-year-old girl from the future meets those needs. Are we so desperate for a sequel to A Kid in King Arthur's Court that we'll just accept any time traveling kid in any situation?
I'll give them the benefit of the doubt that they must find some way that this plot is in any way feasible, but the moment she starts steering an H-bomb with a joystick I'm walking out of the theatre.
Feb 15 2006Heat Vision and Jack Update
In an interview with UGO, Rob Schrab, creator of Channel 101, Scud, and writer of the upcoming Monster House, discussed the future of Heat Vision and Jack. Schrab co-wrote the comedy, featuring a Knight Rider style story about a man and his talking motorcycle, over five years ago, but it was never picked-up. Jack Black starred as Jack, with Ben Stiller directing and Owen Wilson providing the voice of Heat Vision. Schrab says he and Dan Harmon are currently penning the script, which he assures will not be a simple origin story, with Stiller and Black ready to participate.
Anyone who's seen Heat Vision and Jack knows what great news this is. If you haven't seen the pilot, do yourself a favor and seek it out. Also, if you haven't seen a regular pilot, like for airplanes, you should seek one out. Ask him if he thinks it's possible to parallel park a plane, or if that's still a few years away. I'm just wondering.
Feb 15 2006Stay Alive Poster
The new horror-thriller Stay Alive released its poster with the catchy slogan, "You die in the game - You die for real." As it implies, the plot follows a group of teenagers who discover their in-game deaths cause their actual death, and for whatever reason they have to keep playing. Is this really the kind of film we're producing nowadays? I've seen more imaginative episodes of Tales from the Crypt. At the end of the film, I hope Frankie Muniz wakes up to find it was only a dream. Or was it? There's a video game controller in bed next to him!
Feb 15 2006New Silent Hill Stills
New stills from Silent Hill have emerged online, including this horrifying image of a woman with some kind of metal pyramid head, wearing a dress made of a patchwork of flesh, hauling off with a bloody child. It's funny how something you didn't know existed one minute can the next minute be the very reason you're buying a gun.
UPDATE: I'm told this character is actually a male named Pyramid Head, who rapes other monsters in the video game. The horrifying part is still accurate, though.
Feb 15 2006Captain America Coming to Film
In a recent interview, Avi Arad has dropped some cryptic clues about the future of a Captain America film. The movie will focus on the changes that have taken place over the last 60 years, questioning which world was better, the past or today. There are currently no directors or stars attached, though he does have some in mind for the possible 2009 release. Arad said very little about the costume, but promised it will keep at least one familiar aspect:
The shield is a symbol. There will always be a shield. Now, I'll leave it to your imagination to figure out what one can do with a shield.
I thought about that for a while--what one could do with a shield--and I'm sorry to say I couldn't think of anything that Sluts With Shields: Vol. IV didn't already cover. It's practically the bible of shield sex.
Feb 15 2006Goldblum Seeing Red
Jeff Goldblum is set to take on the lead role in a new pilot being made at NBC titled Seeing Red:
"Red," from NBC Universal TV Studio, will be directed by Oscar-nominated Frank Darabont from a script by Graham Yost. It centers on an eccentric, brilliant cop (Goldblum) with the ability to talk to dead victims, who help him solve his cases.
After considering this premise, I think I've come up with the format of what will become the obligatory scene in every episode.
Scene: Morgue
Cop: Jeff Goldblum, did I just hear you talking to a corpse?
JG: Uh...no, that's silly. I was just talking on my cell phone.
Cop: Then why isn't your phone out?
JG: Ut oh!
Jeff Goldblum makes a sympathetic shrug to the camera, turns into a fly.
Feb 14 2006Leo Puts on Teddy
First it was Howard Hughes, now it's Theodore Roosevelt. An informant, whose mother works as a curator for the Theodore Roosevelt birthplace, claims Martin Scorsese will be directing a film titled The Rise of Theodore Roosevelt, with Leonardo DiCaprio taking on the title role.
As good an actor as DiCaprio may be, he seems an odd choice for the role. Martin Scorsese just seems to have a love affair with this guy. I have the feeling that, given enough time, Scorsese would cast DiCaprio as literally every person in history. A hairy, Cro-Magnon Leo will create fire, then beat a more primitive, less evolved Leo with a bone. Pharaoh Leo will whip slave Leo, screaming for him to built pyramids, then free the Hebrew Leos at the urging of Moses Leo. Eli Whitney Leo invents the cotton gin, Hitler Leo runs rampant through Europe, and Harry S. Truman Leo, desperate to end the war, bombs Japan, killing many Japanese Leos. Einstein Leo regrets his contributions to the program. You get the idea. Everyone is played by DiCaprio. Except Robert DeNiro, who plays himself.
Feb 14 2006The Break-Up Trailer
Ah, Moviefone. What you lack in spelling correctness you more than make up for in trailer exclusives. Go watch the trailer for The Break-Up there, starring Vince Vaughn and Jennifer Aniston. It's Aniston's "Oh no you didn't" to Brad Pitt's Mr. and Mrs. Smith, "Yeah, I did that." Except this comes after that, so maybe it's more of a, "Yeah, I did that too, but not with one of the most beautiful people in the world. It's just Vince Vaughn. He's kind of tall."
Feb 14 2006Murphy is a Starship
Eddie Murphy has signed on to star in Peter Segal's Starship Dave. The story involves a group of small aliens looking to save their doomed planet, leading to their use of Dave (Murphy) as a starship. I'm quite excited for Eddie Murphy's return to the genre he first nailed with Adventures of Pluto Nash: science fiction for incredibly stoned college kids.
Feb 14 2006Kutch Keeps Making Shows
In a deal with Time Warner, Ashton Kutcher's production company Katalyst Films, creators of Punk'd, will make a short-form series for AOL.com and AOL Instant Messenger service. Katalyst co-owner Jason Goldberg said of the show:
The programming is going to have a serious attitude behind it. There might be hurt feelings.
I think it's probably going to be most insulting to absolutely anyone who ever tried to get a show created, ever, and now must know that Ashton Kutcher is even further ahead of them. The having "serious attitude" claim doesn't impress me at all, either. Fruit Roll-Ups said the same thing a few years back, and all they did was add some colors and shapes you could rip out.
Feb 14 2006More Batman Casting
Several new rumors have popped-up about casting in the next Batman film. First, Brad Dourif, who played Grima Wormtongue in Lord of the Rings, may be up for the role of Dr. Arkham. Bob Hoskins, too, may have landed a part as Italian mobster Salvatore Maroni, presumably because all Italian mobsters are fat, little, bald men, and you can't have Danny DeVito in every Batman. Finally, Dr. Harleen Quinzel, the scientist who becomes The Joker's sidekick Harley Quinn, is rumored for Emily Watson. Emily Watson? Isn't Harley Quinn supposed to be a young, sassy, little cutie? I like Emily Watson, but not for this role. Is there a villain known for being kind of quiet and homely?
Feb 13 2006Talladega Nights Trailer
The trailer for Talladega Nights: The Ballad of Ricky Bobby is now up on Sony's site. It's another collaboration between Will Ferrell and Adam McKay, the same creative team of Anchorman, so you'd think it should be pretty good, but the trailer didn't really sell me. Hopefully, the actual movie will be funnier, because frankly, it needs to be funny. The day NASCAR stops being funny is the day the rednecks have won. The day they've finally completed their exhaustive agenda... The day they got-r-done.
Feb 13 2006Bryan Singer Still Logan's Running
While promoting Superman Returns this weekend, Bryan Singer dropped a reminder that he's still going to remake Logan's Run with his Usual Suspects co-writer, Christopher McQuarrie:
I'm taking concepts in the book and the movie, the 1976 movie, and some of my own concepts and merging them together for my interpretation. That's as best as I can say. It takes place in a unique environment, one we haven't seen in a movie before. In a mainstream movie before. ... If we do that, it would happen soon. It would happen as early as this year, the end of this year. I guess it would be for ... When would Logan's Run be for? ... 2008.
Though I can't remember if I actually like Logan's Run, or just the robot in it that keeps talking about protein from the sea, I'm definitely excited that Bryan Singer is remaking it.
For those that don't know, Logan's Run describes a distyopian future where the people are euthanized at the age of 21, or in the film version, 30. Let's hope Singer is smart enough to keep the age upped over 21; sci-fi nerds will never get behind a fictional society where they'd never lose their virginity.
Feb 13 2006World Trade Center Teaser Poster
Here's the teaser poster to Oliver Stone's upcoming 9/11 film, World Trade Center. I worry people "won't get it." With just the title and the giant silhouettes of the World Trade Center-- is it to subtle? Maybe there should be a cartoon Osama bin Laden dressed like the Red Baron flying an old plane, too. I say just scrap what you've got and start over. Save this one for World Trade Center II.
Feb 13 2006Mac Joins Philadelphia Department of Recreation
Bernie Mac, the man we know and love for his comedy and having his eyes sometimes look in different directions, will soon be dropping the jokes (retaining the eye thing) for a dramatic turn:
Bernie Mac is in final negotiations to sign on for his first dramatic role, co-starring with Terrence Howard in "PDR" for Lionsgate Films. "PDR," or Philadelphia Department of Recreation, chronicles the real-life story of Jim Ellis (Howard), who in the 1970s transformed a group of troubled inner-city kids into one of the best swim teams in the country.
Is it just me, or is Philadelphia Department of Recreation the worst name possible for a movie? Though I think shortening it to PDR really improves it. It's like yesterday, I found out I had to renew my driver's license. First I was worried I was going to have to go to the stodgy old Department of Motor Vehicles, but it turns out I just have to hop on over to the "DMV." I've never heard of this place, but it sounds like a hot, young hangout, not at all like the Department of Motor Vehicles. I'm really excited about the whole thing. Nearly as excited as seeing a film named after the Philadelphia Department of Recreation.
