Feb 10 2006New X-Men Posters
X-Men: The Last Stand has some new bus shelter posters with super-glam, perfume-ad-style shots of six of the characters. There's Angel, Dark Phoenix, Wolverine, Rogue, A seductive Halle Berry as Storm, and, of course, a blue Rocky Horror-era Meatloaf. These are good enough that they almost make me want to visit a bus shelter to see them in person. If that didn't run the risk of seeing a poor person.
See them all after the jump.
Feb 10 2006Are We Done Yet?
Ice Cube was set to play the lead in a remake of the 1948 Cary Grant comedy Mr. Blandings Builds His Dream House, and though the picture is still being made, it's now the sequel to Are We There Yet?, titled Are We Done Yet? In some of the most brilliant decision making I've ever witnessed, Revolution Studios realized the film would probably make more money as a sequel to the successful Ice Cube comedy. The story is essentially unchanged, except now the characters are from Are We There Yet? So all of you assholes who bet me that the Ice Cube remake of the 1948 Cary Grant comedy Mr. Blandings Builds His Dream House wouldn't have the characters changed to make it a sequel to Are We There Yet?-- you owe me five dollars.
Honestly, I just look at it like the line from Romeo and Juliet: "What's in a name? That which we call a rose, by any other name would smell as sweet." Except replace the rose parts with "horrible Ice Cube movie."
Feb 10 2006Terry Gilliam Does Anything For Billy
After a couple moderate disappointments with The Brothers Grimm and Tideland, Terry Gilliam has announced that his next project will be a film based on "Anything For Billy," a novel that partly chronicles the exploits of Billy the Kid:
The film will follow the exploits of Ben Sippy, a writer from Philadelphia who heads west in search of adventure and ends up running into the legendary gunslinger.
The concept sounds pretty interesting, and with Gilliam at the helm, it should be bizarre if nothing else. The western is written by Larry McMurty, co-writer of Brokeback Mountain, though the novel doesn't capitalize on the now-famous homosexual themes of that film. However, I did find it strange how often it described Billy the Kid "spontaneously breaking into a showtune."
Feb 10 2006Corddry is Becoming Glen
Rob Corddry, best known as a correspondent on The Daily Show, has scored the lead in a new pilot being developed at Fox:
"Becoming Glen," from 20th Century Fox TV, Ricky Blitt and Seth MacFarlane, centers on a successful fortysomething man who looks back at 1994, when he was a 32-year-old slacker (Corddry) living with his parents and spending all his time lying on the couch watching TV.
Corddry is often one of the best parts of The Daily Show, and his appearance on Curb Your Enthusiasm was some of the funniest stuff of the season. Giving him a show is one of the few television decisions I approve of. Then again, I probably wouldn't have given a small group of puppies* a show--an event dubbed "Puppy Bowl"-- though Animal Planet seemed to fair pretty well with it. So what do I know about television programming?
*During half-time it was kittens. Seriously.
Feb 9 2006More X-Men: The Last Stand Shots
A load of new X-Men: The Last Stand have turned-up online, including some decent shots of Colossus, Dark Phoenix, and Juggernaut, as well as this new image of a blue Ted Kennedy. If you print them all out as a flipbook, you'll see a dancing girl.
Feb 9 2006Science of Sleep Shows Disproportion
New pictures from Michel Gondry's The Science of Sleep show that fans of comically large hands and bands in cat suits have something to look forward to with this one. I've heard it's a bit disappointing, but I'm still excited for this film. It looks like Gondry has really captured the skewed reality and complete absurdity of dreams. Or at least what I've heard dreams are like. My dreams always follow the strict narrative of Bazooka Joe comics, and it's making me want to kill myself.
More after the jump.
Feb 9 2006Will There Be A Beetlejuice 2?
A man at a Disneyland restaurant saw Michael Keaton this past weekend. Seeing that Keaton was "laughing and stuff" with his family, he thought this the perfect time to interrupt him to ask him some things and send it to IESB. Keaton revealed he has a role in Robert Rodriguez's upcoming Project Terror, then both dispelled and created some rumors:
I think I read here once that he was rumored to be playing The Joker in the next Batman movie so I asked him about it. He said that's a 'wonderful idea' but there's 'no way'. The 'new Batman films are separated from the old Batman films', he said. So I asked no chance of you playing Batman again? He said 'No, but there's a big chance you'll see me in another Beetlejuice again'. I asked when....he said 'When Tim Burton finishes the script and when everyone is available at the same time'.
Even if this guy did see Michael Keaton at Disneyland, I'm not so sure I buy into this Beetlejuice sequel. It doesn't seem to me like something Burton would do. I imagine Keaton was saying anything just to get rid of this guy, which would also explain his mention of a role in, "Get the Hell Away From Me and My Family, You Freak." Doesn't that star Harrison Ford?
Feb 8 2006Nativity Gets a Director
Since the Bible proved itself a bit of a "cash cow" with The Passion of the Christ, New Line quickly bought the rights to Mike Rich's script, Nativity, which focuses on the B.C. life of the Virgin Mary:
Rich's script covers the two-year period in Mary and Joseph's life culminating in their departure from Nazareth and 100-mile journey to Bethlehem for the birth of Jesus.
Now, in a recent development, Catherine Hardwicke, director of Lords of Dogtown and Thirteen has been picked to helm the project. I don't think I'm alone when I say she needs to take this in a completely different direction than The Passion of the Christ. Gibson wanted everything so authentic-- it's boring. I think the language thing alone scared off a lot of people. I'm not saying change the story, just add some dinosaurs. Not as main characters or anything, just kind of wandering around so you can say, "Hey, is that a dinosaur back there? I think that's a T-Rex behind the Blessed Virgin." Maybe have a few get their jaws torn open, like in King Kong. And at the end, when she gives birth, maybe Jesus comes out smoking a cigar.
Feb 8 2006Preview Flushed Away
Over on the official Flushed Away site there's a sneak peek at the new film by Aardman. The all computer-generated film, featuring the voice talents of Hugh Jackman, Kate Winslet, and Ian McKellan, is a slight departure for the company, better known for their claymation adventures of Wallace and Gromit. The plot focuses on a rich, upper-crust rat who suddenly finds he must adapt to the real world after falling in a toilet, a story sadly similar to Paris Hilton's.
Seriously, though, this looks like it might have some charm. With the talented boys at Aardman working on it, this might just be the movie I'll carelessly leave a child at this year. Or at least one of the movies.
Feb 8 2006Which Freddy to Choose?
In a recent interview with Bloody Disgusting, Robert Englund revealed the status of another Freddy movie, saying:
New Line is committed to making at least one more Freddy movie. They have commissioned both a prequel and "Freddy vs. Jason vs. Michael Myers." No word on which one they will actually make or when.
Hmm, which is more appealing? Or perhaps the better question is, should they be written on shit or with shit? I'd say both, but I worry you'd lose some readability.
Feb 8 2006Rambo Coming Soon
The latest Sylvester Stallone rumor is that after Rocky 6, which already sounds like a stellar concept, he'll star in and possibly write and direct Rambo IV, saying:
It'll be back to back. After I am done with Rocky, I'll go straight with Rambo.
What's with Stallone making all these sequels to the glories of his youth? What's next, a movie recounting his prom night? There's only so long a man pushing sixty can remain a convincing killing machine. This guy needs to get over Rambo and Rocky and get back to whatever other movies he may have made. I think there was one about a cop city.
Feb 7 2006Neopets: The Movie
Warner Bros. has commissioned Rob Lieber to write a script based on NeoPets, which is to be made into an all CG animated film.
Producers are keeping the concept and logline for the NeoPets project under tight wraps. Created in 1991, NeoPets is tracked by millions of kids who log on to take care of their own virtual pets, as well as follow storylines about other pets who populate Neopia.
I still don't really know what a NeoPet is, but the deal makes sense from the website's perspective, since this will be a great way to introduce the site to kids who don't know about it, so that they can then beat-up and mock those kids that do.
Feb 7 2006Lincoln Won't Be Shot
Steven Spielberg's next project, an Abraham Lincoln biopic, was set to shoot this summer with Liam Neeson starring, but a recent report from Hollywood Elsewhere claims the picture has been put on hold indefinitely.
Does this mean that Spielberg is shifting his attention to Indiana Jones 4 instead? It seems like a good sign. But before we get excited, let's not forget the plight of Liam, who now lost a plum role, and who had probably already purchased a top hat in preparation. Depending on where he bought it, their policies, and if he saved the receipt, he may now be stuck owning a top hat. For God's sake, where is he going to wear a top hat?
Feb 7 2006Martin To Play Gaye
After years of struggling to get it off-the-ground, a film about Motown legend Marvin Gaye is finally in the works, with Jesse L. Martin set to star in the title role.
The movie chronicles the final years of Gaye, who, after years of battling drugs and having parted ways with Motown, exiled himself to Europe. There, he was rescued by promoter Freddy Cousaert, who helped Gaye record his biggest-selling album, "Midnight Love," which produced Gaye's monster comeback hit, "Sexual Healing." Gaye's life was cut short the day before his 45th birthday in 1984, when his father killed him.
Martin is known to many by his role on the series Law & Order, so Gaye's murder will likely be investigated by a young, good-looking detective and an older, wise-cracking one.
Feb 7 2006Bateman Joins Emporium
Jason Bateman now is set to star alongside Natalie Portman and Dustin Hoffman in Mr. Magorium's Wonder Emporium. The film, written and directed by Zach Helm, focused on a depressed toy store employee (Portman) who is left the store upon the owner's death, with Bateman playing an accountant hired to appraise the establishment. This is the first feature role for Bateman since Fox failed to renew Arrested Development, opening up his schedule for other projects. With Bateman taking on larger roles, it has improved the chances for me to see the trilogy-ending sequel I've been waiting nearly twenty years for: Adult Wolf.
Feb 7 2006Steve Buscemi is a Miller
Steve Buscemi is in final negotiations with New Line to star in the comedy We're the Millers:
The story centers on a drug dealer (Buscemi) who realizes on his birthday that he wants out of the business. He decides to do one more job, which forces him to travel to Mexico and create a make-believe family, the Millers, in order to bring 1,400 pounds of marijuana into the U.S.
I'm not sure how making a fake family allows you to bring more drugs into the country, unless it's just more large intestines to shove drugs into. If that's the case, I propose they instead make it about a guy who gets extra intestines added to his body, but it turns out each has a different personality, so they keep getting in arguments while going through customs and things. Chris Rock does the voice of the sassy one, they're animated by Pixar, and we call it My Four Colons. How about it, New Line?
Feb 6 2006Nacho Libre Trailer
Ain't It Cool News has scored the Internet exclusive trailer for the new Jack Black comedy, Nacho Libre, in which he plays a Mexican wrestler. Black was actually more toned down than I thought he'd be, and the presentation seemed like it may only marginally offend the Mexican people.
I did notice that it seemed like a lot of the jokes centered around being fat, but there's absolutely nothing wrong with that. It's for that very reason that I've chosen obesity as this year's Funniest Physical Problem for the fifth consecutive year. Try again next year, hare-lip.
Feb 6 2006Cromwell Is Captain Stacy
In further inconsequential Spider-Man casting news, James Cromwell has been cast as Captain Stacy, the father of Bryce Dallas Howard's Gwen Stacy. This is almost twice as exciting as other recent news of the casting of the Sandman's wife.
Despite Cromwell's casting, to me there will only ever be one Captain Stacy, and that's the 11-year-old girl who patrols my block in a home-knit cape. I'm pretty sure she doesn't have any friends, so say "Hi" to her, okay?
Feb 6 2006Batman Eavesdropping News
Someone named "Alexander" tells SuperHeroHype that he's a grip on the set of Christopher Nolan's The Prestige and has overheard some secret Batman meetings between Nolan, Christian Bale, and Michael Caine. And what did "Alexander" hear? Apparently, "Alexander" claims to have heard the name Paul Bettany followed by Joker, and Jake Gyllenhaal followed by Dent. Let's not get too excited here, "Alexander." Hearing a name and a role doesn't necessarily mean they're connected. I mean, my name is often mentioned with "strange pervert" and "sex offender," but that doesn't mean it's true. At least until my court case.
Gyllenhaal seems a bit young for Dent, doesn't he? Still, I hope he's cast, because when someone says something about "Broke-Bat Mountain" I'm going to punch them blind. Even if it's "Alexander."
Feb 6 2006V for Vendetta Super Bowl Spot
In case you missed it, the Official V for Vendetta site has posted the Super Bowl trailer from Sunday night. It isn't too long, but it does show some new stuff, like Natalie Portman in a cute little outfit practically tailored for perverts. Plus, it proves once and for all that the "page boy" is the haircut of the future. Bruce Vilanch was right again.
Feb 6 2006Werner Herzog Is A Bad-Ass
During a recent interview with Werner Herzog, regarding his documentary Grizzly Man, the director was shot by an air rifle. Here's the God-dammer of it: He kept doing the interview.
"He had a bruise the size of a snooker ball, with a hole in. He just carried on with the interview while bleeding quietly in his boxer shorts."An unrepentant Herzog insisted, "It was not a significant bullet. I am not afraid."
Officially, Werner Herzog is now my front-runner for Bad-Ass Director of the Year, so step-it-up Penny Marshall. I know you have it in you.
