Silent Hill Poster Contest Winner
The Silent Hill poster contest has ended, the votes have been tallied, and the we've got the winner. It's not bad compared to the other options, but when you've got the likes of a freak with a pyramid head and a flesh apron, hauling around a bloody child, there's no reason to show anything else on a poster. You've got your poster boy right there. Just showing the sign is like advertising Showgirls with a map of Las Vegas: accurate, yet ignoring the most interesting elements.
Larry the Cable Guy: Health Inspector Trailer
Through the sheer power of the human spirit, I hoped I could will away the Larry the Cable Guy movie. But since it's still coming out, you should check out the trailer. It's full of all of the inane bullshit you'd expect, plus Buster from Arrested Development, Biff from Back to the Future, and a rabbi for whatever reason. Despite all of its obvious shortcomings, what bothers me most is that the title tells us that Larry has two professions. I refuse to think of him as such a jack-of-all-trades. At least when he's just installing cable I know how to avoid him.
Green Goblin in Spider-Man 3 Image?
Over at Cineactual, someone's played with the newly released image of Spider-Man, coloring in some parts of the eye-piece to reveal something sort of like the mask of Green Goblin. Of course if this reflection is accurate, it would mean the villain was located in Spider-Man's crotch.
It seems to me that this might be reading too much into the image. You can see a lot of things if you look hard enough at any vague shapes, especially if you color them, but it doesn't mean anyone believes they're real. Unless you're on LSD, in which case you will insist they're real, even after all your friends tell you that it doesn't make sense that the Devil would fly down from a cloud, disguised as a gentleman kitten, trying to whip you with a rainbow.
Arnold Schwarzenegger Returning to Conan?
An informant for The Arnold Fans tells the website that if Schwarzenegger does not serve a second term at governor, Warner Brothers wants him for another Conan sequel:
I can't say much but Jeff Robinov is definitely hoping that Arnold looses[sic] the race for a 2nd term as governor so he can make his place back into feature films with KING CONAN. The film might not even be called KING CONAN anymore and instead go back to CONAN THE CONQUEROR. The title KING CONAN sounds like a finale and that's not what Warner Bros. wants.
If Arnold looses the next term, the WB wants the new Conan epic shooting on a grueling gorilla schedule around the clock starting March 2007 for a December 2007 release date.
Besides this film, another good reason for Arnold to not win a second term is that it's completely absurd that Arnold Schwarzenegger is leading a portion of our country. I realize this is a little after-the-fact, but seriously, how did this happen? Didn't anyone see Pumping Iron? Unless an army of cyborgs from the future are attacking, I'm really not sure he's qualified for any of this. But if an army of sentient learning computers ever do attack, thank God he's on our side.
New Juggernaut Photo
First I thought the X-Men: The Last Stand makeup and costumes looked a little questionable. Now, I just kind of feel bad. It looks like someone's mom made this, then wanted a quick picture in the living room before he goes out trick-or-treating. I hope you get some king sizes, bud.
Vince Vaughn in Fred Claus
Variety reports that Vince Vaughn is in talks to star in David Dobkin's Fred Claus, a holiday comedy about Santa's loser brother returning to the North Pole to redeem himself.
While negotiations are just beginning, deal should see Vaughn cement his status as a comedy-carrying star by reaching the $20 million salary mark for the first time. Dan Fogelman wrote the script and Dobkin is producing with Jessie Nelson.
Vaughn should be funny in the role, but if they wanted a loser brother they should have just gone with Daniel Baldwin. Then they could cast Alec Baldwin as Santa and you'd get the real intensity of the black sheep trying to live up to his brother's work. The only problem would be that the shooting schedule might cost Daniel his assistant manager position at Sam's Club.
Catherine Keener in Where the Wild Things Are
Catherine Keener, making an appearance on Thursday's The Charlie Rose Show, mentioned she will be playing the mother in Spike Jonze's adaptation of Where the Wild Things Are, while Jim Henson's Creature Shop will be doing the monster puppets:
I'm getting ready to work with him again. He's doing Where the Wild Things Are. He's doing it in New Zealand. I'm playing the mom looking for Max. Then there will be six actors or so performing the roles of the monsters, the wild things. And then Henson's company is making puppets.
While Keener's involvement is interesting, I think the best news is the confirmation that Henson will do the puppets. If they can do work anywhere near as impressive as they did on The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, we're in for a treat. There's just something about puppets that's so much more tangible than computer generated creatures. It's like you could just wait until they're asleep and slip into their little puppet beds and give them little puppet kisses all ove--Ut oh! The puppet police!
Take the Lead Poster
Here's the poster to Take the Lead, and it looks just as unimpressive as the film sounds. The movie follows a famous ballroom dancer teaching some New York City public school kids how to dance, colliding with their crazy hip-hop styles. Different mixes of this plot are made every month, but what makes this one different is the inclusion of Antonio Banderas. He has his own cologne.
Besides looking like an iPod ad, the poster is pretty reminiscent of the Roll Bounce one-sheet. And this just after I promised myself to stop thinking about Roll Bounce. There have been too many sleepless nights thinking about it as it is.
Don Knotts, Darren McGavin Lost Over Weekend
This weekend, we tragically lost two great actors. Don Knotts, best known for playing the bumbling Deputy Barney Fife on The Andy Griffith Show, Mr. Furley on Three's Company, and The Incredible Mr. Limpet in The Incredible Mr. Limpet, died Friday of pulmonary and respiratory complications. Darren McGavin, the ill-tempered father in A Christmas Story, was lost Saturday of natural causes. In memorial, I broke a lamp shaped like a leg, then made a wide-eyed, dumb-founded look at the camera.
Cars Daytona 500 Spot
To draw in the Daytona 500 fans, Pixar created a special TV spot for their upcoming Cars that showcases the racing elements of the film, sort of like waving a beer in front of an alcoholic (which many of them are). There aren't many comedic elements to the ad, and it was still looking well-below the standards set by Pixar, until we hit the final line, spoken by Mater (voiced by Larry the Cable Guy): "Git-R-Done." That's when I laughed so hard I pissed and shit!
They should just put a confederate flag on the bumper, a Calvin urinating on Ford/Chevrolet in the back window, have the movie ticket double as a hunting license, and make the tagline, "This film forfeits our society to the hill folk. Enjoy."
