Jan 13 2006Ultraviolet Trailer

The Ultraviolet trailer has hit, and it looks bloody fantastic. If Milla Jovovich in skin tight leather isn't compelling enough for you, how about the fact that this is the same director who came up with gun-kata. Remember gun-kata? Remember how it made your private parts tingle with excitement? Well imagine that, but with a bigger budget. Oy, my pants are feeling tight.

Ultraviolet trailer [UGO]

Jan 13 2006Grendel Is A Tall, Bearded Gentleman

The trailer for Beowulf & Grendel, the upcoming movie based on the epic tale of Beowulf, has been released on the official site. I read this story in high school, but I remember Grendel being a much cooler opponent. Isn't he some kind of monster? If the trailer is any indication, Beowulf is basically fighting a wrestler, or a tall, cartoon hermit. Hopefully he'll fight a dinosaur or something too.

Which reminds me: remember that part in King Kong where he tears that dinosaur's jaw open? That was really something.

Beowulf & Grendel Trailer [Official Site]

Jan 13 2006Bubble Trailer Has More Dolls Than QVC

Steven Soderbergh's new movie Bubble now has a trailer. Apple describes the plot as:

An unlikely love triangle is born at a doll factory in a small Midwestern town. Long time employees Martha and Kyle have become friends by default in spite of their drastic age difference, but their dynamic is upset by the arrival of a new worker: young, attractive Rose. One morning, Rose is found dead, strangled in her own home. An investigation begins, one that will call into question our established assumptions about these characters and life in their small town.

How does Soderbergh communicate this complicated plot in just a minute and a half? With shots of baby doll parts, leading me to confuse it with other fetish videos I'd downloaded earlier.

Bubble, dubbed a "Steven Soderbergh Experience," will be the first film willing to compete with Electric Ladyland, a Jimi Hendrix Experience.

EXPERIENCE Steven Soderbergh [Apple]

Jan 13 2006Prince of Persia Jumps Onto Screen, Across Short Gaps

Jerry Bruckheimer recently spoke to ComingSoon.net about his upcoming projects, including news of another video game film, Prince of Persia:

In February, we start a picture called 'Deja Vu' in New Orleans, which I think will be the first movie being shot in New Orleans since Katrina with Denzel Washington playing the lead and Tony Scott directing. He did 'Top Gun' with me and 'Enemy of the State.' Then we have a thing called 'Prince of Persia,' which is a big video game, that we're considering doing, and another thing called 'Unnatural History' that we're working on.

The goal of the video game Prince of Persia was to escape the Evil Sultan's clutches, save the Princess, and offend the Arab community as a whole. Hopefully, Fisher Stevens won't play the Arab Prince.

Bruckheimer Speaks [ComingSoon.net]

Jan 13 2006Sci-Fi Airing Doctor Who, Ruining Friendship

Those anticipating the U.S. release of the recent BBC Doctor Who series shall wait no longer:

SCI FI Channel announced Jan. 12 that it will air the first season of the BBC's hit SF series Doctor Who, starting in March. The 13 episodes, starring Christopher Eccleston as the Doctor and Billie Piper as Rose Tyler, will air as part of SCI FI Fridays at 9 p.m. ET/PT.

Sci Fi To Air New Doctor Who [Sci Fi Wire]

Jan 13 2006Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles have a new movie

You'd think a new CGI TMNT movie would be enough to make me crap my pants, but something about the teaser poster and the official site make it seem less than super amazing. I know they're turtle ninjas, but that doesn't mean they have to make them look so much like actual turtles. Whoever's animating this thing should give serious thought to shortening the neck and adding on 15 lbs of muscle. And maybe putting in a huge boner. Because everybody knows that ninjas always sport giant boners.

Jan 13 2006More Batman Begins news

Moviehole has some cryptic news about the upcoming Batman Begins sequel, including hints at who they want for the upcoming Joker role.

"This is the first screen appearance for this character in the Batman films and she has a very close connection with a major character in Nolan's first Batman movie. She will be out for revenge against Bruce Wayne and Gotham in a major way. As of who the studio is looking at for this role, let's just say that she is nominated for a SAG, a Golden Globe and is on her way to an Oscar nomination as well. She is also in fact five months pregnant and will be in tip top fighting shape once production begins to roll early next year but not before she throws a few coins in a fountain".

We're also told that every actor in town is interested in playing The Joker in the next film. Chris Nolan is pretty keen on getting 'a name' though.

"As you know, there are many actors who want the chance to do this character (The most requested Batman character next to Batman himself.) The studio is eyeing a major, major actor and Christopher Nolan himself is said to be just as excited as they are in nabbing him for the role. Who is he? Let's just say that he has a major film coming out this summer and it's a sequel to one of his biggest hits. In fact, his performance in the first movie was nominated for an Oscar. YES, they are looking at HIM if he is available for the role and rumor is that he might be interested depending on the script, which is being written right now".

I don't see why they have to be so mysterious about this crap. Do they want Gwyneth Paltrow to play the Joker? Judi Dench? Stop with the games!

A few more Batman rumours to chew on [Moviehole]

UPDATE: The best guesses we've got so far are Rachel Weisz for the role of Ra's Al Ghul's daughter Talia, and Johnny Depp for the role or the Joker.

Jan 12 2006Ghost Rider teaser poster

If the quality of a movie were based entirely on its poster, I'm sure Ghost Rider would get four out of four stars. Unfortunately, things don't quite work out that way and, judging by the preview teaser, Ghost Rider isn't going to be nearly as fantastic as the poster makes it seem. I've said it before and I'll say it again: the only way for Ghost Rider to be a gauranteed box office hit is if they eliminate all the CGI effects and actually light Nicholas Cage's head on fire. And then if they want, they can have him ride a motorcycle around and maybe swing a chain. It doesn't really matter, as long as his head is actually on fire.

Some more pics of Nicholas Case as Ghost Rider after the jump.

Continue Reading "Ghost Rider teaser poster"

Jan 12 2006Kristanna Loken topless sex scene from Bloodrayne

I know there are some of you out there who are contemplating throwing down the $10 necessary to watch Bloodrayne just for the gratuitous nudity and sex scenes. Well being the last shred of sanity in that crazy world of yours, I've taken the liberty of posting Kristanna Loken's topless sex scene from the movie. It probably won't be enough to satiate your perverted appetites, but it should at least be enough to stop you from supporting Uwe Boll in any possible way. The guy directed House of the Dead and Alone in the Dark for crap's sake. If sending an ebola infested monkey to bite him in the testicles is the only way to stop him from making anymore movies, then damnit somebody find me a monkey and a syringe filled with ebola.

The totally NSFW video clip after the jump.

Continue Reading "Kristanna Loken topless sex scene from Bloodrayne"

Jan 12 2006David Fincher directs Torso

According to The Hollywood Reporter, David Fincher is set to direct Torso, a thriller based on Brian Michael Bendis' graphic novel of the same name. I've been waiting years for a Brian Michael Bendis property to become a movie, and it's totally fitting that a super awesome genius like David Fincher be behind the camera. Although it would have been an even better choice if they had set David Fincher to direct Powers instead. If you're not up to date on your comic books, check out Powers and tell me Fincher wouldn't make a bad ass movie out of it. It'd be so bad ass that other asses would pack up their bags and leave the state out of fear of all the badness that this ass would bring.

Fincher has stomach for 'Torso' [Hollywood Reporter]

Jan 12 2006Patrick Stewart Too Old To Fly Starship

Patrick Stewart, a bald actor, claims he has been approached to reprise the popular role of Captain Jean-Luc Picard in another Star Trek film, but worries his age may be an issue if they wait too long. Says Stewart:

Weighty people in Hollywood have come up with a very interesting proposition. But they told me it was still two, three or four years down the road, by which time I would only be able to sit in the captain's chair and not have the energy to get out of it!

Stewart still wanted back on the Enterprise [Yahoo! News UK]

Jan 12 2006Damon, Affleck To Wear Chaps

Hoping to ruin another American classic, Matt Damon and Ben Affleck have announced to OK! magazine that they will be teaming up to remake Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid, with Damon playing the Sundance Kid and Affleck playing Butch Cassidy. Though no reason is mentioned for why they would attempt to recreate the famous picture, nominated for 7 Oscars in 1970, I offer up this possibility: Brokeback Mountain wasn't gay enough.

Jan 12 2006Transforming Car Was Not A Transformer

Yesterday, I reported that possible ILM test footage for Michael Bay's Transformers had leaked. Today, word from Michael Bay has surfaced that the clip, depicting a car transforming into a robot, was a fake. Bay added, however, that he is still very interested in the project, and is working with ILM to get the CGI robots to properly emote.

Having now looked at the footage again, I realize my error. I see now that it was just a man in a car costume standing up. But, really, it's a hell of a fake.

UPDATE: It turns out he wasn't even in costume. It was just a guy that kind of looked like a car.

UPDATE 2: A third viewing revealed it was actually a crude drawing of a dog, that looked nothing like a car.

ILM Footage is B.S. [Ain't It Cool News]

Jan 12 2006James Franco Is A Goblin?

James Franco will likely make his anticipated transformation into the Goblin mask in the next Spider-Man film. This news from Matthew Mungle, special effects and prosthetics artist, whose website claims he:

Designed and created the make-up concept and appliances for James Franco in "Spiderman 3" to be applied by Luisa Abel.

Mungle designs for Spider-Man 3 [Matthewmungle.com]

Jan 12 2006Julia Roberts May Abandon Children

Charlie Wilson's War, the film based on a Texas congressman who teams with a CIA operative to arm the Afghan rebels that would eventually become the Taliban, may add another big-name to its cast:

Mike Nichols and Julia Roberts are making battle plans.

The Closer director is negotiating to direct Charlie Wilson's War for Universal, with the former film's leading lady considering leaving the kids with the nanny to star.

The film already boasts a script by West Wing creator Aaron Sorkin with Tom Hanks in the lead role. With star power like this, I smell Oscar! Or it may be the smell of parental neglect. Or "Julia Funk," a smell rumored to circle Julia Roberts at all times. One of those three.

Julia Roberts Going to War? [Empire]

Jan 11 2006Car "Tranforms" Into Robot, Amazes Onlooker

What appears to be ILM test footage for Michael Bay's upcoming Transformers project has found its way online. The clip, which shows a car transform into a robot to the amazement of Dave Matthews, is already being called a fake by many viewers. Some dispute comes from the sprocket holes seen on either sides of the video, which wouldn't be visible if run through a projector, and wouldn't be present if projected digitally. Others claim the footage is of a car actually turning into a robot and symptomatic of a larger problem: lots of cars turning into robots. Then what will we drive? THEN WHAT WILL WE DRIVE??

Answer: Robot Cars!

More Than Meets The Eye [BaDonGo.com]

Jan 11 2006Satan Is Chubby, Short

20th Century Fox has released the first image of Damien from John Moore's The Omen remake, The Omen 666. In the film, an American official realizes that his son, Damien, may literally be the Antichrist. Most surprising to the official is that Evil incarnate sports a bowl cut.

Jan 11 2006Oscars, Trix For Kids

MSNBC reports that this year's Oscar nominees may be the youngest in history:

The Golden Globes and the year-end critics' awards have led the way to honoring fresh talent in medium-budget independent productions, while the Hollywood guilds, including the Writers' Guild, the Screen Actors' Guild and the Producers' Guild, appear to be following in the same Oscar-forecasting direction.

Most indicative of the new, young direction of Hollywood is the prominence of character-driven, edgy storylines, and that everyone has a MySpace. Among the youths favored for nominations are Scarlett Johansson, 21, Jake Gyllenhaal, 25, Keira Knightley, 20, and a talented fetus known only as, "Lil' Pinky."

Get ready for some young Oscar nominees [MSNBC]

Jan 10 2006Tarantino Invented James Bond

According to the Sunday Mirror, Quentin Tarantino has said he is quite upset about the upcoming Bond movie, Casino Royale, because he conceived many of the ideas being used. From the article:

I'm annoyed that the James Bond producers never even called me up to talk to me about it because I can tell you they would not be making Casino Royale if I hadn't talked about it first.

They should have called me. Especially since they are taking my idea and they are taking the publicity I gave them towards that idea. They should have at least out of courtesy had coffee with me.

Among the ideas stolen from Q.T.: James Bond having cool inventions, James Bond shooting people, James Bond having sex with various women, James Bond driving cool cars, James bond fighting a rich, sophisticated villain with an extensive organization of thugs, and saying, "Bond. James Bond."

Among the ideas not stolen: Extensive anime sequences and Samuel L. Jackson.

Tarantino Furious With Bond Producers [Digital Spy]

Jan 10 2006Bite Into Hard Candy (Not Literal Hard Candy)

The trailer for Hard Candy has been released on IFILM, and it's sure to stir up some debate. The movie follows a 32-year-old man who uses the Internet to seduce a 14-year-old girl into meeting him and coming to his home, where he finds she may not be as innocent as she first seemed.

Because of the controversial nature of the film, some parent groups are concerned about the film's release, worried for both the sexual content and the fear that other girls may attempt to be vigilantes. Also upset by the film were pedophiles, who hoped it would be more of an instructional video.

Trailer [IFILM]

Jan 10 2006Clint Eastwood: Un-American

Clint Eastwood is currently shooting the feature Flags Of Our Fathers, a World War II feature focusing on the American soldiers who famously raised the flag on Iwo Jima, and now the Oscar-winning director has announced it will be a two-part series. While the first focuses on the American side, the companion piece, Red Sun, Black Sand, will focus on the Japanese side of the battle. Iris Yamashita, a Japanese-American writer, will pen the script, with Ken Watanabe mentioned as a possible star.

While I'm glad a director finally has the courage to show the other perspectives of World War II, I worry about his rumored third film in the series, Hitler: Not Such A Bad Dude. Lofty concepts from a man still best known for asking a "punk" if he's lucky.

The Far Eastwood [Empire Online]

Jan 10 2006The Wild May Be Madagascar

Disney has released a preview for their new animated feature, The Wild, on the Disney Motion Showcase, a relic from the days when "motion" alone was still considered impressive. The film, due out April 14, focuses on the adventures of a group of zoo animals bungling their way through New York in search of a young lion.

To some, this film may look strikingly similar to Madagascar--an astute observation--but they're forgetting what originated this outsider-in-the-big-city genre: Crocodile Dundee. That's right, Paul Hogan did it first, he did it best, and he's still doin' it best with Crocodile Dundee in Los Angeles, which someone told me was actually a third Crocodile Dundee movie that got made somehow.

See The Wild! [Official Site]

Jan 9 2006Where the Wild Things Are is so on

Warner Bros. has acquired the rights to Where the Wild Things Are after Universal dropped the ball. The film will get started later this year, with Spike Jonze set to direct from a script he and Dave Eggers wrote. Details of the story are still a secret, but the film will be live-action with a large expected CGI budget. Not that it matters, because with Spike Jonze directing something he wrote with Dave Eggers, you can be guaranteed that socks will be sufficiently rocked off. I don't think they let you pre-order movie tickets two years in advance, but I'd gladly throw down my $10 now.

If you've never read anything by Dave Eggers, pick up A Heartbreaking Work of Staggering Genius and thank me later. And if you've never seen anything by Spike Jonze, find the nearest kitchen knife and cut out your own kidneys.

'Wild' ride for Warner [Variety]

Jan 9 2006Clerks 2 Teaser Trailer online

The Clerks 2 Teaser Trailer went up on the official site about 30 minutes ago. If you've ever wondered what Clerks might look like with color and Rosario Dawson, here's your chance to find out. It's mostly just a montage of quick cuts, but the story will pick up 10 years after the original with the stores replaced by a fast food joint. I don't want to ruin the movie, but I hear Silent Bob says something deeply profound at the end, and then Jay makes a marijuana reference and tops it off with a "Snoochie-boochies!"

Jan 9 2006Adrien Brody Wants To Wear More Makeup

Following rumors that Josh Lucas is up for the role of Harvey Dent in the next Batman film, a sequel to Christopher Nolan's Batman Begins, Adrien Brody has thrown his hat into the ring for the role of The Joker. As reported on Moviehole

Brody tells USA Today that he loved Batman Begins and hopes to be considered for the role of the jovial assassin in the next chapter.

"I would love to play The Joker. I think he would be deformed and creepier."

Brody later elaborated that his joker would be "deformed and creepier" not because of his interpretation of the psychopathic character, but because he's actually deformed and creepy.

Jan 9 2006Rocky Balboa is actually filming

The Rocky Balboa Blog has the first official image from the new Rocky Balboa film. You can see for yourself that it's utterly disappointing, but at least it's more proof that they're actually going through with this. And not just going through with it, but taking it seriously. If I were directing this bad boy, I'd trash whatever script they've got now and just film scene after scene of Sylvester Stallone old-people stuff. Like yelling at the TV and forgetting where he put his reading glasses. And then every 15 minutes or so, a boxing glove would appear on screen and knock him out.

Jan 9 2006Randy Quaid To Wear Cowboy Hat, Stupid Glasses

To the joy of America's white trash community, the writers of Glory Road are said to be scripting a biopic on NASCAR legend Richard Petty to be played by Randy Quaid. Petty is best known for his seven championship wins, 700 top ten finishes, and looking like a cowboy unibomber. Upon hearing the news, NASCAR fans celebrated the only way they know: with racial intolerance.

Glory Road writers to pen Petty bio [IESB.net]

Jan 9 2006Aquaman Wears Briefs

AquamanTV reports that the role of Aquaman in the upcoming WB pilot is rumored to have been cast by actor/model Will Toale. Though a virtual unknown, Toale gained some recognition in 2003's Uptown Girls in the role of "Briefs Model." With Aquaman, The WB hopes to capture the untapped demographic of those who didn't think Smallville was gay enough.

Jan 9 2006Indiana Jones 4 Stars Elderly

In an interview with IESB over the weekend, Frank Marshall confirmed that following The Bourne Ultimatum, work will begin on the long-anticipated fourth Indiana Jones. This comes as exciting news to fans, who have waited since 1989 for another chapter of the popular saga, but as bad news to Harrison Ford's hips. Because old people easily break their hips!