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'Star Wars: The Force Awakens' Trailer Arrives with Its Tri-Blade Lightsaber

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There's been an awakening, everyone: it's the new Star Wars trailer.

It's just a teaser, so there's not much to go on in terms of plot details here, but what we can see is that all those Ewoks were a bit premature in heralding peace with the Yub Nub song. The so-called "Star" "Wars" seem to rage on. A Rebel-attired Oscar Isaac is briefly seen piloting an X-wing. Attack the Block's John Boyega can be seen in the desert still wearing the iconic armor of the Empire's Stormtroopers. A war-tired Chewbacca's bandolier is now covered in flowers and peace signs. He considers himself a singer-songwriter now.

Despite the ballyhooed return of old favorites Luke Skywalker, Princess Leia, and screen actor Harrison Ford, surprisingly, they don't show up in the new preview--or at least their faces don't. But we do get a very Star Wars-y shot of Daisy Ridley on a speeder; a shaky, not-very Star Wars-y shot of Stormtroopers that looks like it's from a video game cut scene before a battle; and yes, because this a J.J. Abrams, he does have the lens flare you were looking for around the 47-second mark. Perhaps most notable, though, is the look at what would appear to be the film's new villain--someone in the Darth Maul-approved Sith ensemble of hooded black cloak and gimmicky lightsaber. It's more of a lightBraveheartsword this time, apparently:

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Hey, the First 'Star Wars: The Force Awakens' Trailer Will Be Here Tomorrow!

This isn't it. Happy Thanksgiving.

Ridley Scott Will Not Direct 'Blade Runner' Sequel That's Still Happening

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Though Ridley Scott still hasn't reached the dramatic climax where he realizes that the long in-development, woefully belated Blade Runner sequel has reached its time to die, he has at least given up on one aspect of the film. Surprisingly, that aspect is not the part about an increasingly-enfeebled Harrison Ford trying to run around another sci-fi sequel.

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Wolverine Continues 'Origins' Series with 'Pan' Trailer

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Here's the trailer for Pan, the loose Peter Pan adaptation that is not a campy television musical, nor a "grounded, edgy, soapy thriller," nor a dark, modern take involving Aaron Eckhart, nor a comedy with Melissa McCarthy as Tinker Bell. This one is an adventure-filled, seemingly pretty cartoonish take directed by Hanna and Anna Karenina's Joe Wright and starring Hugh Jackman, Garrett Hedlund, Rooney Mara, and newcomer Levi Miller. It's an origin story, and apparently that origin is that Peter Pan was Oliver, Tiger Lily is white, Hook is a dashing prospector take on Heath Ledger's Joker, and Blackbeard is there looking like someone's steampunk cosplay of Waluigi.

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'Jurassic World' Trailer: Welp, We Went Too Far with Dinosaur Cloning Again

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Though the Jurassic World trailer wasn't scheduled to premiere until Thursday, Universal has apparently decided to give us all an early, "Happy Thanksgiving; also, please don't play God," because here it is.

In the film, the lesson learned in Jurassic Parks 1-3 have been completed abandoned in favor of expanding the "park" into a full-blown luxury "world" just begging for a lawsuit. Massive cruise ships and high-speed monorails shuttle guests around the prehistoric island; open-air off-road vehicles and automated human hamster balls drive visitors right alongside the massive dinosaurs; an up-close SeaWorld-like performance sees an enormous fish-like beast lunge from the water to devour a great white shark, awing guests with a powerful visual metaphor for how the director of Jaws didn't do anything this big and stupid. From a pool of Wayne Knight's blood has risen a monumental achievement in science, engineering, and DinoPark Tycoon realization.

Unfortunately, as is the running theme of Jurassic Park (besides the running theme of actual running), the scientists have gone too far. MAN HAS MADE A DINOSAUR THAT'S TOO AWESOME. It's some kind of dangerous hybrid that has, of course, escaped. Thankfully, MAN HAS ALSO MADE A MAN THAT'S TOO AWESOME. It's Chris Pratt. He rides a motorcycle alongside Velociraptors like they're the coolest gang ever.

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HBO To Air 'Bombshell' Scientology Documentary

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Arrogantly insinuating that Battlefield Earth may have missed a few points, HBO has started preparing another documentary about Scientology. THR reports that the premium channel has teamed with Oscar-winning documentarian Alex Gibney (Taxi to the Dark Side, We Steal Secrets) on a new film that "tackles the Church of Scientology and its Tinseltown tentacles." Titled Going Clear, the doc is based on Lawrence Wright's book of the same name, subtitled "Scientology, Hollywood, and the Prison of Belief." Gibney is said to already be nearly finished with the film, and should HBO's lawyers clear all the stuff about the crazy stuff, it will be submitted for Sundance in January before airing on the network later next year. Tom Cruise is already requesting someone's Go password.

Franco, Rogen Continue Campaign of Terror with New 'The Interview' Trailer

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Though The Interview has already been labeled "an act of terrorism and war," maybe North Korea will ease up on their judgement once they see this new trailer for the film. Sure, it still involves James Franco and Seth Rogen being recruited to turn a media visit into an assassination attempt on the Supreme Leader, but in this preview we also see how target Kim Jong-un is "not a bad guy." He likes Katy Perry as much as anyone! Who are we to judge his haircut and horrific human rights record?

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'True Detective' Female Leads Finally Confirmed, Both Already Familiar with Detective Duos

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While the first season of True Detective made direct references to authors Thomas Ligotti and Robert W. Chambers, it seems the follow-up season will instead draw liberal influence from the little known late 2000s work of Guy Ritchie. HBO today officially confirmed the lead female cast of the series' second run, announcing that Sherlock Holmes co-stars Rachel McAdams and Kelly Reilly will star alongside Vince Vaughn, Colin Farrell, and Taylor Kitsch. McAdams--long rumored for a central role--is playing "a Ventura County sheriff's detective whose uncompromising ethics put her at odds with others and the system she serves." Reilly, meanwhile, will address first-season criticisms about thinly-developed wife characters to play a somewhat more developed wife character. She'll play Jordan, wife of Vaughn's Frank Semyon and said to be heavily involved in his criminal enterprises. It has still not yet been revealed what color king we're trying to catch this time.