May 9 2008'Iron Sky' Teaser Trailer Finally Portrays Nazis as Villains

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"In 1945 the Nazis fled to the moon. In 2018 they are coming back." What more do you want in a description?

Venture below the cut for the trailer--made by the creators of Star Wreck, I'm told, though I have no idea what that means.

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May 9 2008Watch: First Seven Minutes of 'Speed Racer'

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0-:30 - Help! I'm trapped in a sponsored kaleidoscope! Phew, I'm out. Apparently that was just the portal to a Nickelodeon locker room.

:30-4:00 - The constant rhythmic movements, the paralyzing hallucinations, the guttural outbursts, the insane scribblings, the Asperger-level singular obsession mixed with complete social disregard: it's abundantly clear that childhood Speed has some serious mental issues to overcome. I can't wait to see how they address such crippling psychoses in a family movie.

4:00-end - Never mind. I guess we're going to ignore all that in favor of a sneak peek of Nintendo's upcoming F-Zero Played on the Wario's Coliseum Mario Kart Course.

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May 9 2008Ugh, New 'Kung Fu Panda' Trailer

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The best trailer for WALL-E yet.

Kung Fu Panda Trailer 2 [Yahoo!]

May 9 2008Main Themes of 'Anna Nicole' Biopic Demonstrated

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As far as I know, that ill-conceived, low-budget Anna Nicole Smith biopic I mentioned a few months ago never came out. But I did just find out that, like so many hotly-anticipated cinema events, it's been leaked online! The news gave me a moment of excitement that quickly passed as I realized I would never watch that. There's no way to justify spending watching two hours of Anna Nicole Smith's actual life, let alone a flimsy recreation, no matter how comedically disastrous it might be. But I suppose if someone were to break it down into a seven-and-a-half minute dissection of the main themes (Anna had titties; Anna was curious; Anna thought she looked like Marilyn Monroe; Anna=Anna, Anna genuinely loved that old, rich guy played by George Costanza's boss at the Yankees; Anna really loved pills and booze; Anna really, really loved coffee; Anna was friggin' fat; and Anna returned from the dead to narrate her own biopic), that I might be able to rationalize.

Oh, good. Someone did.

Warning: if you plan to watch the full length version, you may want to avoid this preview, as it could be a spoiler that the ghost of Anna Nicole Smith drives away with her ghost son.

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May 9 2008'August' Poster Willing to Make Bumper Sticker-Level Commentary

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It's hard to read at this size, but the tagline reads "comes before the fall," referring to the plot in which two brothers struggle to keep their Wall Street company going in August 2001, a month before 9/11. It replaced the original tagline--one more appropriate for the poster--"God, Josh Hartnett is really cool isn't he? I mean, seriously, just look at him. So cool. So cool."

August Poster [IMPA]

May 8 2008'Igor' Trailer Proves Resistant to Cusack's Charms

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Usually it's easy to root for underdog John Cusack. But will it be so easy if his voice is hidden behind the image of a hunchbacked David Gest? Not so much; particularly when the film's decent premise (a stock mad scientist sidekick--an "igor"--tries to make it on his own) is hidden by just as grotesque a facade: archetypical Disney-esque jokes and characters. Sidekicks are just so wacky, ya know?

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May 8 2008'Bigger, Stronger, Faster*' Poster Lacks References to Daft Punk

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Alright, Bigger, Stronger, Faster*. If you want to blatantly call out Barry Bonds, Marion Jones, Shane Mosley (I guess?) clearly Sylvester Stallone, or Arnold Schwartzenegger on steroid use, you go right ahead. But the Hulkster? Come on. If hosting unbalanced competitions between spandex-clad men and occasionally groping your daughter can't redeem you in the public eye, what can, I ask you? What can?

Bigger, Stronger, Faster* Poster [IMPA]

May 8 2008First Look at Newest Comedy Masterpiece, 'Goody Two Shoes'

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As we sit idly by, waiting for the world to improve itself, the know the writing/directing/side-splitting team of Aaron Seltzer and Jason Friedberg (the Meet the Spartans guys!) are hard at work on yet another excuse for Carmen Electra to consider herself a "comedienne". But outside of the predicative spoofs they've already stated (in which entire parodies will be based on some trailers), and that the framework will be built around Superbad, we barely know what pre-existing material will be referenced as jokes in the next Seltzer/Friedberg laff-fest. How do we know what material to study, so that when a man in a giant flower of a dress stumbles into a manhole, we can say, "I think that was meant to be the Sex and the City lady randomly dying"?

Oh well. At least with this on-set shot from their latest, Goodie Two Shoes, we can start taking guesses. Looks like we've got a parody of Juno (hah!--she totally did look sort of like that), a parody of celebrity, and an exploration into how funny it would be if Jonah Hill were black? Am I missing any?

Oscar Bound! [Faded Youth]