Nicolas Cage Would Do 'Wicker Man' Sequel as Japanese Ghost in a Bear Costume
Perhaps hearing his own tortured cries echoing from the Hundred Acre Wood, perhaps responding to user philblakeman's webchat question "is there any character you'd like to revisit?", Nicolas Cage today spent a few moments reflecting back on 2006, thinking of that time his head was covered in bees during The Wicker Man remake. And you know what? Surprisingly, now that Nicolas Cage thinks about it, he actually wouldn't mind putting the ol' bear suit back on and punching a few more women in the face with a sequel to that movie. If the right Japanese director came around with the right idea for Nicolas Cage being a screaming ghost, that is.
Ferris Bueller Will Sell or Lease a New Honda to Those with Qualifying Credit
A follow-up to yesterday's reveal that Ferris Bueller would resurrected to sell us some crap during the Super Bowl, we now know what the mystery endorsement is for. Cars.
All of 'Doctor Who' Condensed to Under Ten Minutes
Moments from every episode of Doctor Who, from 1963 to the present, collected in a single video. Nearly half a century of science fiction distilled and bottled into ten minutes and eleven Time Lords. After viewing, please seal this away in a time capsule, so that future generations may know what fucking losers we were.
Monty Python Gang Will Voice CGI Aliens, with Robin Williams as a Dog
The surviving Monty Python gang and Robin Williams, already united in their shared love of playing shrill, overweight British women, are at last huddling their voices together under the warm, profitable blanket of CGI animals that talk to live-action people.
New 'Terminator' Will Have R-Rating, Is Still Getting Made, Apparently
Megan Ellison--the rich kid who's been awesomely using her dad's Oracle fortune to fund films by Charlie Kaufman, Paul Thomas Anderson, and the Coens--last May emerged as the future's savior for the Terminator franchise, outbidding Lionsgate to win the rights to Schwarzenegger as a robot skeleton. We all cheered that Arnold's crouched, nude form was in cradled in such seemingly-competent hands, but since then, there hasn't really been any movement on the project--a fact that reportedly has attached director Justin Lin worried the project could interfere with his duties recording Vin Diesel driving cars.
Well, earlier this week, Ellison at last spoke up about the project, and while there's still no clear indication of how the film will explain why a learning computer now looks 65 and publicly disgraced, one thing is certain: the film will be rated R.
'Martin Luther King Day' Trailer: "In the Words of Martin Luther King, 'I Just Gotta Go for It.'"
From last night's 30 Rock cold open: the trailer for Martin Luther King Day, a thankfully non-existent ensemble romantic-comedy that stars Andy Samberg, Emma Stone, Hugh Grant, Nick Cannon, R2-D2, Mankind and more. So alarmingly accurate, septuagenarian director Garry Marshall will hopefully think he actually made this and move on to some other holiday film he can stuff Hector Elizondo into.
Winnie the Pooh as Nicolas Cage in 'Wicker Man': A Collection of Screaming About Bees
For your Friday: a small collection of Winnie the Pooh clips dubbed with the insane bee rants from The Wicker Man remake. Pooh's inner monologue has at last been freed, and it sounds a lot like Nicolas Cage freaking the fuck out:
Banned Hungarian 'Shame' Poster Pretty Crazy, Probably NSFW
Remember that Dark Knight poster with Joker writing in blood? Think that, but with a back-full of jizz.
'Mirror Mirror' Continues Looking Like TV Movie with International Trailer
If the first Mirror Mirror trailer was the one asserting, "We are the wacky Snow White, not the one with the droopy, terrifying Silver Surfer," this is the trailer that reiterates, "Did we mention we've got Nathan Lane, every noise we could squeeze out of World's Zaniest Sound Effects, Vol. 2, and the twin from Social Network acting like a fucking dog? Honestly, we even got real dwarves actually doing that stand-on-each-other's-shoulders-to-look-like-a-normal-sized-man routine you only see in cartoons. That's how little anyone involved took this seriously."
'What To Expect When You're Expecting' Posters a Maiesiophiliac's Dream
With New Year's Eve behind us---nothing more than a hazy dream in which, as crazy as this sounds, I swear Robert De Niro AND Bon Jovi were there, with multiple Catwomen?--time to look forward to the terrible romantic-comedy pile-ons of the future. Up soon: What To Expect When You're Expecting, a film that will use no less than a dozen central characters to show us that some pregnant ladies are like this, while other pregnant ladies are like this, and other pregnant ladies are like so, but they all are unified in removing their sleeves and holding their bellies. Here are some posters teasing this thesis: