Nov 20 2009'Last Song' Trailer: Miley Cyrus Gets Her Shot at Bland Teenage Drama
Britney Spears had Crossroads; Mandy Moore had A Walk to Remember; now Miley Cyrus (or is it Hannah Montana when she's acting?) gets her shot at moving from pop songs to insipid melodrama with The Last Song. Based on a Nicholas Sparks book--like A Walk to Remember--the film seems to be about Cyrus/Montana visiting father Greg Kinnear's beach house, meeting a boy, kissing that boy, and the boy executing the fucking strangest, most puzzling romantic gestures he can muster. It's like watching a girl fall in love with a handsome psychotic:
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Nov 20 2009So Many People Are Doing the Acting in 'Thor'
So many people are doing the acting in Thor! Some people joined the cast a few days ago; one just joined today. Let's finally get to filling them all in in our Thor scrapbook, OK?
Firstly, the Heat Vision blog is reporting that Idris Elba--who you may remember from The Wire, The Office, and the ridiculous Beyonce-fights-a-stalker film Obsessed--will be playing Heimdall, another mythological Norse character called "whitest of the gods." Which is funny. Because Idris Elba is black. Not white.
Variety, meanwhile, has news that Stuart Townsend (Charlize Theron's husband), Ray Stevenson (the Punisher that wasn't Thomas Jane) and Tadanobu Asano (Ichi the Killer) will be playing the Warriors Three, Marvel-created Asgardian gods who form a classic trinity of fat guy, Errol Flynn-esque guy, and Genghis Khan-looking guy.
To those thinking this is weird because black guys and Asian guys don't belong in the world of Norse mythology... well, you're probably technically right, but you're still assigned ten minutes in the racist penalty box.
Nov 19 2009Some of These Documentaries Will Be Nominated for an Oscar
Specifically, five of them.
The preliminary fifteen documentaries that will be cut down to the five that will be Academy Award nominees have been announced. So, uh, here they are:
-"The Beaches of Agnes," Agnès Varda, director
-"Burma VJ," Anders Østergaard, director
-"The Cove," Louie Psihoyos, director
-"Every Little Step," James D. Stern and Adam Del Deo, directors
-"Facing Ali," Pete McCormack, director
-"Food, Inc.," Robert Kenner, director
-"Garbage Dreams," Mai Iskander, director
-"Living in Emergency: Stories of Doctors Without Borders," Mark N. Hopkins, director
-"The Most Dangerous Man in America: Daniel Ellsberg and the Pentagon Papers," Judith Ehrlich and Rick Goldsmith, directors
-"Mugabe and the White African," Andrew Thompson and Lucy Bailey, directors
-"Sergio," Greg Barker, director
-"Soundtrack for a Revolution," Bill Guttentag and Dan Sturman, directors
-"Under Our Skin," Andy Abrahams Wilson, director
-"Valentino: The Last Emperor," Matt Tyrnauer, director
-"Which Way Home," Rebecca Cammisa, director
I, for one, am fairly surprised by the absence of Tyson, Anvil, and Capitalism: A Love Story. As well as the lack of nomination for Man on Wire, Super Size Me, An Inconvenient Truth, The Thin Blue Line, Spellbound, the entire Maysles Brothers catalog, and Nanook of the North. I don't understand exactly how these things work, but man, those were some good documentaries.
Nov 19 2009Game That Hasn't Come Out Already Becoming a Movie
Thanks to Reliance BIG Entertainment and Brad Pitt’s production company! Risky Business reports the two companies are developing Capcom's upcoming Rocketeer-looking, third-person shooter that you've never played into a feature film, with an eye for Pitt to star:
“Void” centers on a a cargo pilot named Will (Pitt’s presumed character) who, after crashing in the Bermuda Triangle, ends up in a parallel universe where a band of humans must fight an alien threat they had long been thought extinct. Will and the other humans are outmanned but have a number of weapons and powers to help them beat back the alien incursion.
Fans of the game are already of mixed opinion, split between, "We don't exist yet; the game hasn't even fucking come out! You're speculatively making this, but a film based on the hugely successful Halo series can't get off the ground? Jesus Christ, no wonder studios are going out of business," and, "Sounds gay."
Nov 19 2009'Remember Me' Trailer: Robert Pattinson Has Movies Besides 'Twilight' Sequels, You Know
Pierce Brosnan is as surprised as you.
See R. Pattinson continue his bad boy boyfriend shtick while trading in sparkly vampirism for throwing things and smoking indoors (so bad!) in this trailer for Remember Me. As a bonus, you'll also get to see Pattinson get his face slammed into the pavement (therapeutic if you're really sick of this whole Twilight thing) and how a former James Bond has transformed into George Hamilton.
Nov 19 2009Don't Pay Will Ferrell Too Much To Act
By looking at the last three mainstream films big Hollywood actors starred in within the last five years, subtracting the voice-acting parts and applying maths, Forbes has compiled a shaming list of the ten most overpaid stars, and has found that Will Ferrell earns the least back in box office for every dollar he's paid.
Would you like to see the full list, and see where Eddie Murphy places since you know he's got to be on there? Oh, good, here it is:
1. Will Ferrell
2. Ewan McGregor
3. Billy Bob Thornton
4. Eddie Murphy
5. Ice Cube
6. Tom Cruise
7. Drew Barrymore
8. Leonardo DiCaprio
9. Samuel L. Jackson
10. Jim Carrey
You may now refer to the IMDb to see what major release films Billy Bob Thornton and Ice Cube have even been in in recent years. (Hint: think Mr. Woodcock and Are We There Yet? sequels.)
Nov 19 2009'New Moon' and Other Non-Abstinence-Vampire Films Open This Weekend
Films for those with an unnatural obsession with Robert Pattinson and those without such an affliction hit theaters this weekend. Here are your options:
The Twilight Saga: New Moon
Director: Chris Weitz
Starring: Kristen Stewart, Robert Pattinson, Taylor Lautner
Good if you want to see: you know full well exactly what this is. You can stop pretending.
Planet 51
Director: Jorge Blanco, Javier Abad
Starring: Dwayne Johnson, Seann William Scott, Jessica Biel
Good if you want to see: a Twilight Zone-esque "it turns out man is the alien!" concept mixed with E.T. and crammed into the broad, animated family comedy mold; the cast of The Rundown vocally reunited for some reason
The Blind Side
Director: John Lee Hancock
Starring: Sandra Bullock, Quinton Aaron
Good if you want to see: Sandra Bullock forcing her way through a Southern accent to show how rich, white, trophy wives are capable of changing the lives of a poor, black kid if the kid is giant enough to be good at football; the exchange, "You're changin' that boy's life," "No... he's changin' mine" (oof!); an explanation for the shot in the trailer where the biological son and foster son are high-fiving over a table covered in assorted condiments (if you find that out, please tell me personally)
Broken Embraces (limited)
Director: Pedro Almodóvar
Starring: Penélope Cruz
Good if you want to see:an Almodóvar film. If you're into his stuff, go for it; if not, don't. If you don't know, see Talk to Her or something first, OK?
Red Cliff (limited)
Director: John Woo
Starring: Tony Leung Chiu Wai, Tekeshi Kaneshiro, other names you probably won't recognize
Good if you want to see: some huge battles between old fashioney Chinese warriors; some warlords and generals talking with subtitles to explain why all these huge battles keep happening
Bad Lieutenant: Port of Call New Orleans (limited)
Director: Werner Herzog
Starring: Nicolas Cage, Eva Mendes
Good if you want to see: who know what you'll see in a semi-remake of Bad Lieutenant directed by Werner Herzog and starring Nicolas Cage (besides the imaginary iguanas seen in the trailer)? It's probably going to be pretty strange, though.
Nov 19 2009Anne Hathaway Could Be in the Spider-Man
How do you like the idea of Anne Hathaway as Black Cat, Spider-Maniacs (fans of Spider-Man who are psychotic)? I ask not arbitrarily but because she might actually have been offered the role.
According to Nikki Finke, producers for the superhero series have approached the Bride Wars warrior with an offer for an unspecified part. Using the knowledge that Kirsten Dunst is still in and Black Cat supposedly has a part in the next Spider-Man film, me and the rest of the internet is guessing that offer was for Black Cat.
Of course, there's also the rumor going around that Rachel McAdams was rumored last week, so we're probably at least a Michelle Williams rumor away from an official announcement. In the meantime, let's continue complaining that Sam Raimi for some reason isn't keeping true to the character and casting a young actress with actual white hair and disproportionately enormous breasts.
